I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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