I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
