I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
