i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
