addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
