Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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