can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
