that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
