I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
