See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
