I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
