I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
