I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
