I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
