I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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