I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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