At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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