So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
