whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
