Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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