every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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