just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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