Can i not drive my cunt home
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize