i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Me too!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
