I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
