Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
