ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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