Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
