i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize