At least make sure they are 18
Why
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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