need another drink. this is the easiest way
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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