So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
