I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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