Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
