If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
