you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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