but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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