O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize