Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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