I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize