Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
