those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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