Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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