You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
