i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
