We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
did you just send me my own nude
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
