i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
