So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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