break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is not my ceiling
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
