She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just had sex bonerless
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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