i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
