Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize