I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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