I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize