My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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