check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
