You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
