Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
