Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
