how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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