this beer tastes like vomit already
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
