Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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