Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
