I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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