shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
