remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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